Wednesday, January 31, 2007

New Home Secretary resigns after 37 minutes - DeadBrain.co.uk

During a recent spate of "stickie" sticking, I found a "stickie" from DeadBrain.co.uk to put on my sidebar. It updates the "news headlines" which are, the astute will notice, spoof "news headlines". For example:


At first, I wasn't too sure about this "stickie", but gave it a whirl anyway. However, on studying a few of the "news stories" over the last couple of weeks, I have begun to fall in love with the "DeadBrain" sense of humour. It provides an excellent release, and a sideways look at political news.

There is one particular story on there at the moment entitled: "New Home Secretary resigns after 37 minutes". It is what some younger work colleagues of mine excitedly call "Quality!":

The new Home Secretary was dramatically forced to resign today just 37 minutes after replacing John Reid. As DeadBrain went to press, tabloid editors up and down the land were rejoicing at the quick-fire dismissal.
The story continues:
The drama happened as the fiery Scotsman's successor was being unveiled at a press conference...Within twenty minutes, the Daily Mail had released the following statement:"In admitting that he won't be able to put all criminals behind bars, the new Home Secretary has shown such a lack of concern about the paedophiles, terrorists, rapists and feral children in our midst that he is arguably worse than the lot of them. If he has any decency at all he should apologise personally to all future victims of crime and resign immediately."

...and then climaxes with this:
After facing calls to resign at his inaugural press conference, it wasn't long until the new Home Secretary caved in. In an emotional resignation speech he said: "The first five minutes were a great challenge but after that I began to see why people say this job is the worst in the world. I can only hope that my successor is less incompetent than me and my predecessor John Reid, his predecessor Charles Clarke, his predecessor David Blunkett and his predecessor, whose name I forget."

So, I shall leave the DeadBrain "stickie" as a permanent feature of my sidebar. I see they are looking for contributory satirists, by the way.

And you should see what they said about our Ming during the leadership contest:
Liberal Democrat leadership contender Sir Menzies Campbell admitted today that he is straight and apologised for misleading people.
...Sir Menzies revealed on Radio 2 that the situation had become "unmanageable" as allegations of a 30-year relationship with a 58-year-old woman were due to appear in this Sunday's News of the World.
...Privately, though, a party insider told DeadBrain that Sir Menzies had "*******d his chances".
Come on, laugh!
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1 comment:

  1. Wild BillFebruary 2, 2007 at 12:27 PM

    If you like DeadBrain U.K., there is also a DeadBrain US offshoot - I am one of the writers on DeadBrain US, and the editor is debating if he should continue it - if you read it and enjoy t as much as you like DeadBrain U.K., you can write to the editor and tell him (ONLY if you like it, of course) - it might help him figure out what he is doing with it - we all contribute to DeadBrain out of sheer love for the publication, not money, so this is not shameless self promotion - I love being part of such a fun and twisted publication, and to see positive feedback for either the UK or US edition is really great. Even if you don't like the US version, thank you for your enjoyment of DBUK - we're all in it together.


    Best.
    KMJ

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