Effluent release into Firth of Forth - open goal for Salmond

Alex Salmond goes where other politicians fear to tread. It is only a matter of a few hours, I suspect, before he comes up with a cunning joke linking this unfortunate event to Labour's last days in power in Scotland. John Smith got a laugh about "hotels falling into the sea" under John Major's faltering premiership. Surely it is a bit of an open goal to do a similar thing linking Labour with....ahem.....effluent releases into the Firth of Forth. Perhaps one of ours will get there first, but then maybe they won't stoop so low.

"Scotland - the best small country in the world"

As an enthusiastic and frequent(ish) visitor to Scotland, I am always bemused by the large poster which greets me at Glasgow ariport declaring: "Welcome to Scotland, the world's best small country".

Until I first saw this, I always thought of Scotland as a really, really big country. I mean, it's hardly Monaco, is it? To walk across Vatican City, which is a country, it takes you about a minute. To walk from Berwick-on-Tweed to Muckle Flugga would take you a few weeks and a bit of a swim.

And one of my favourite Scottish bands is/was Big Country. How do they fit in with this "small country" business, then?

So, all in all, arriving with great anticipation at Glasgow, dreaming of seeing the vast mountains and lochs of Scotland, to be greeted with "welcome to the world's best small country" is a bit of a let-down. One's heart sinks, in fact.

What is going on? Is there an inferiority crisis in the Scottish Tourism office? What a crazy tourism slogan!

...And it doesn't just seem to be soft Sassanachs such as myself who think this slogan is daft.